found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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