Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Randomize
