I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
