Why does Corona taste like a burp?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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