he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize