you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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