I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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