dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
