remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
