Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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