Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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