In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
