I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
worst night to have a conscience
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
