What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
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peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
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nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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