u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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