My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize