I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
