Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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