I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
there's paper in my vomit.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
