So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
