just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You made out with two different species that night
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
