I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Watching her eat just hurts me
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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