I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I AM VODKA MAN
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
