I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
