come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
