if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
