How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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