is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
