I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
