Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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