Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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