So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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