the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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