Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
