whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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