doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
