you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
