idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
