I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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