I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Is it penis luge time yet?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize