Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize