After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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