You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize