I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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