I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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