i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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