i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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