The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
i think my cat just said my name.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
