Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
