There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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