I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
