There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
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Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
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YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.