I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
