Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone

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(518): View more from New York

Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.

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(239): View more from Florida

My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.

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(518): View more from New York

She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(845): View more from New York

Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.

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(585): View more from New York

I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.

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(314): View more from Missouri

No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.

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