Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
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