I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
