is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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