Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
