Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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