i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
