i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
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