Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
