I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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