The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
