my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
